My Approach to Mediation

My Approach to Mediation

My approach to mediation is that I am a facilitative mediator (i.e. a facilitator) meaning I help parties to reach mutually acceptable resolutions to their conflicts. The goal is an "interest-based" negotiation, where each party is able to discuss their individual interests, rather than just being locked into their separate positions. Some attorneys have joked that the goal of mediation is simply to keep both parties in the room. Although a humorous comment, ironically nine out of ten times doing so helps parties settle their dispute. However, parties can take needed breaks and meet with me alone during the meditation when necessary.

Promoting Human Dignity and Taking the High Road

I always attempt to promote human dignity and respectful and productive communication between parties. This approach usually allows both parties to share more pertinent information that assists them in resolving their dispute quicker and more thoroughly. Maintaining human dignity does not prevent parties however from being able to state their own points of view.

Mediation can help people take the high road by treating each other with respect and kindness in spite of their dispute. The process can help people to deal with each other in productive and mature ways. This allows each party to move on to the next chapter of their lives with a little less baggage and a little less stress. The process can help parties find some humanity, hope, and even goodness (or as I say "a blessing in disguise") during a difficult chapter in their lives.

Mediation can allow each party to respect the other party's different values and beliefs without violating their own, in order to resolve disputes efficiently and effectively. It can help parties maintain their integrity and dignity, unlike a long-term litigation battle and court process. Parties typically get more of what they want by taking this humane and mature approach. After mediation, both parties typically describe the process as fair and just.

Taking Personal Responsibility

In mediation, my professional philosophy is that parties need to take personal responsibility for their dispute. If they do not, they are almost always disempowered. It is human nature that we want to blame the other person or party. Often people consider the problem to be "all the other person's fault." Even if this is so, both parties can take responsibility by taking ownership of the problem, and by realizing what they need to do to resolve the conflict satisfactorily. They can also take responsibility by sincerely and authentically engaging in the mediation process in an attempt to create solutions that are acceptable to both parties.

My Role / Three Specialties / "Added Value":

Note that although I am a Licensed Psychologist, I am not working in that role as your Mediator. In mediation, I am a Mediator. Counseling/Psychotherapy or psychological evaluations are a completely different process with entirely different goals than mediation. Thus, I am only working in one role at a time.

Please see the two links on this website for more information about my Mediation Experience and Counseling Experience.

I hope that my varied professional experience can "add value" to your mediation. For example, through my experience conducting marriage counseling since 1995 I have learned how to handle people's strong emotions that they experience during the divorce process, which I think can often help me in facilitating productive divorce mediations. I am also writing a few books that I hope will help married couples have better marriages, and another book to share my methods about how divorcing couples can move on with less negative emotion and baggage when starting new relationships.

Since 2003, my experience as a real estate investor, property manager, and supervisor of my property managers has given me the opportunity to handle numerous disputes in this area. It is my hope that my professional background in real estate will help to add knowledge to the real estate mediations. For example, when appropriate I can share examples of resolutions others have come up with to resolve similar disputes. This is sometimes requested in order to help parties brainstorm their own solutions. Previously, I have worked in medical centers for 11 years and handled a variety of disputes that have prevented litigation.

If you have questions whether I am the "right fit" for your mediation, please feel free to call me for a free 30 minute phone consultation and we can discuss it.